Nightmares About Life

I had a nightmare two days ago. It was a representation of my worries and what may happen. I cannot get over it. It feels so real that I seem to have distanced myself from my loved ones.

What I need is a listening ear. I need to process my thoughts or risk losing my sense of identity. It is this that is causing so much pain. It is okay for people to insult you. But can you imagine if that insult attacks the very root of your existence?You begin to doubt yourself, and slowly your sense of self dies away.

The worse part is when this sense of self tries to fight for its life. It is fucking painful… Because no matter how much my sense of self is fighting, it is drowning. The desperation of the sense of self will cause you to hate the perpetrators. And when that hate takes root, the sense of self clings on to hate. Because hate has and will allow it to continue its existence.

The thing with hate is… you must always hate…

Logen L.

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10 Comments

  1. mihara.
    Nov 25, 2009

    eh! I have a listening ear to spare if you have a listening ear to spare! LOL

  2. KILLAkillaKILLA
    Nov 25, 2009

    i feel you.i am having a fucking bad time too.best, today my brain jammed.i nearly fucked someone today after enduring her rudeness for long.bet you know who it is.and the evening just got worse.it’s damn shit yo.but heck, gotta do what we gotta do, LIVE.whats life without fuckin endless small problems.
    don’t pay any mind the insults you get.what matters is what we think of ourselves eventually.
    keep fghting for your sense of self.don’t ever hate.it’s poisonous.
    : (((((((((

  3. KILLAkillaKILLA
    Nov 25, 2009

    psst lets go running again.my stan chart’s next week.ask sylvester and horace along too : )

  4. logish
    Nov 27, 2009

    You know me Eugene. I might be crazy, eccentric, cranky and sarcastic, but I do listen to people. Even if the truth is uncomfortable to listen, I keep to an impartial view. So yea, I’ll see you soon. Perhaps after common test.

  5. logish
    Nov 27, 2009

    Thanks Killa. Sometimes, its the small problems that make the huge problem unbearable. :)

    About the running, I’m not sure if it’ll be in time for your run if we go next Friday. But I’m certainly up for running. Haven’t exercised for 2 weeks… DAMN THE ASSIGNMENTS!

    lol.

  6. KILLAkillaKILLA
    Nov 27, 2009

    friday?! cannot luh man. haha. day after must chiong from padang to kallang and back to padang. nvm we can run to prepare for my relay in jan 2010. hee. see you soonest!

  7. mihara.
    Nov 28, 2009

    Good luck for your common tests, the both of ya! will see you soon Logish!

  8. KILLAkillaKILLA
    Nov 29, 2009

    huahaha. luck is never good but shank you shank you. good luck for internship. hawhaw. $$$$$$$$.

  9. logish
    Nov 29, 2009

    Yep Killa. We’ll go train soon. I need to reestablish my exercise routine. ;)

  10. logish
    Nov 29, 2009

    Thanks Eugene. You know what I always say about luck. :p Ganbatte for your internship. And see you soon.

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