Time and time again, I question the wherefores of my existence. Within this eternal struggle of ego tussles and prejudice, the want of a happy life is but a childish dream.

I subconsciously push people away at times, as I feel no purpose to have emotional attachment to family and friends. One day, they will leave. Some will leave due to the law of impermanence that governs this world. Others will choose to leave. Of the latter, I will feel the pain of abandonment. And it is this pain, which I prefer to prevent.

Do I love the people whom I love (and will come to love) despite my denial of attachment? Yes I do. Am I fiercely loyal to these people? Yes I am. But perhaps drifting away is for the better.

The essence of my being is clandestine and hence a life of secrecy and ambiguity.

Where will the future take me?

Logen L.