Don’t Mistake Your Curiosity For Concern

Get off your high horses dear friends and stop patronising me. I have never imposed my values and beliefs on you. Nor have I told you how you should live your life and belittle your struggles. So back off the next time you have some arrogant bullshit to tell me when I confide my private life with you. I don’t need you to fix me. I need a friend.

Life takes you to places and amidst the journeying there is suffering and self-fulfillment. Often the suffering and pain surpasses the self-fulfillment, especially when the life you seek is unconventional. It is a sad sad world. And we need the people in our lives to be more accepting to our eccentricities, more supportive of our dreams and less judgmental to our struggles.

It is difficult to find people who share the desire for an unconventional life, contradictory to what society expects. It is just as difficult to find friends who would listen to your struggles for happiness without lashing out judgment.

Truth be told, the people we call ‘friends’ talk too damn much when what you need is a respite from life’s miseries and someone to listen (and be with you in the moment). When your body language leaks melancholy, these people ask about your well-being out of curiosity, not care nor concern. They judge your problems as though they know you and know every factor of struggle in your life. They belittle your struggles and tell you they’ve been through worse or that there are people in this world who are unluckier.

What arrogance, ignorance and insensitivity… Is it necessary to compete on whose life is more fucked up when someone gives their trust and confides their issues? Why the hell do you think therapists are paid to listen? Yes, that’s right. People talk too damn much.

Be a friend. While curiosity isn’t a sin, making ignorant criticisms as a byproduct of your curiosity is a sad excuse for care and concern. Learn to shut up and listen, control the urge to judge where judgment is unnecessary and lend support by being there. People already know the answers to their problems and need limited input. Agree to disagree and accept that there will always be stubbornly different views. Instead, give them the respite from pain and the strength to move forward in life.