I am driven by loneliness and melancholy to reach for my goals. I had not accepted failure because being alone with my melancholic thoughts was painful. Today, I am where I am because of how I struggled in the process to find myself. It isn’t that the melancholy vanished. I merely learnt to deal with it.
Here are some excerpts preluding and postluding the new year festivities for the past half a decade. In my serach for my writings in the past, I managed to idiotically delete an entire blog database by accident for a prior blog. Oh well.
Earlier this year, 2011:
Sure, there were many people walking in a drunken stupor, but better drunk and happy than sober and moody. What happened to the saint-like Logen who didn’t associate with booze and drunkeness? Well, he had sex, enjoys the occasional whiskey on the rocks, got pissed drunk twice and grew out of sainthood…
– Excerpt on having a disappointing and melancholic new year this year (2011)
It doesn’t matter if I will take on a path less taken. No matter the difficulty. Even if there is little proof that my principles, ethics and path will enable me to succeed, I will push on. I will be the exception because I’m not mere statistics. I am Logen, the god of my own destiny. And I don’t give a fuck of what society expects me to do.
– Excerpt on my vow to reach happiness. Incidentally, I had an awesome new year at Siloso beach party (pictures included).
Prelude to 2009:
So, whose hairstyle to choose: Uchiha Madara (or Sasuke) or Yondaime Hokage? My hair still isn’t long enough… and I can’t seem to forget that bloody hair dresser who butchered my long hair.
– Excerpt on choosing what cosplay hairstyle to have in the new year. And my grudge against the hair dresser.
[…] conquer my fear of cockroaches and any other creatures with more than 4 legs, bigger than a 20 cent coin and living on land
– Excerpt on resolving to kill my horrible fear of cockroaches, which I have already achieved in the stinking dirty building in armour camp.
Not unlike Christmas, the ushering of the new year has little significance this year. I feel especially lonely as others celebrate their friendships and relations.
– Excerpt on loneliness. Enough said.
Last year had been a true challenge, which I have eventually pulled through. At the beginning of yesteryear, I aimed to rise above the two-year long depression that had clouded my mind; I succeeded.
– Excerpt on ‘conquering’ depression temporarily. Melancholy comes back eventually.
Happy New Year my friends. I will be going once again to Siloso Beach Party this year. In fact, I’m supposed to meet my friends in 2 hours. See you.