Why can’t my life be simpler? Why do my choices have such complicated implications? Why do I have to feel this deep sense of sorrow and hopelessness? Why then do I exist?
People take their lives and normalcy for granted. Their friendship and kinship are extended conditionally. They like to assume to know everything about you, when they know nothing that matters to you. They take you for granted. They are the biggest hypocrites, criticising others when they commit the very same trespasses. Compassion and mercy is overrated. Kindness is a comforting gesture that everyone forgoes and forgets.
I’m trying to retain small vestiges of my naivete but I cannot. In this cruel world, you have to be your own god and be strong. Stupidity costs you. No one cares. Everyone is blind and deaf. And people take advantage of your warmth and concern.
Enough is enough. I really don’t want to feel the way I feel on a near daily basis. The despondency is killing me on the inside. The mask I wear melts when I consume alcohol. And people think that I’m a foolish drunk talking. No matter how drunk I am, I remember my words. My body may fail me but my mind does not.
You know what… The truth reveals itself through two impetuses: alcohol, anger(resentment) or both. And most of the time, I am both. So, next time, don’t pretend to care when you are just curious. Go and have your fun and leave me be.
I’m used to being left alone in my own company; I was always a lonely child. I can handle the darkness that comes for me; the shadows that grin maliciously in the deep suffocating abyss. Just go…