Reducing My Phobia Of Cockroaches
I’ve been listening to hypnosis recordings a few times a week to reduce my fear of cockroaches. Days ago, I managed to spray down a young flying cockroach and wrap it in newspaper to throw away. I found out I can handle the presence of a cockroach if I either close my eyes or ignore its ugly features when killing it. If I look at its feelers, ugly eyes or kicking legs, I’ll end up screaming. Last night, I had a vivid nightmare and I remember using scrunched up newspaper to whack a huge cockroach dead. And even flicking a smaller cockroach off my thigh. Yes, it was a dream. But if I’m able to subconsciously deal with cockroaches, perhaps I am actually reducing my fear with the help of hypnosis.Sponsor ZUJI SG - MLOB Cannonball...
Suffering In The Cycle Of Pain and Pleasure
Lately I’ve felt a relapse of melancholy. It was a taste of the pains I went through years ago. The feeling of being unloved, unwanted, helpless, hopeless and loneliness. The silence of your world is the most terrible and wondrous feeling. Your tongue is cut by your oppressors. You feel blades slicing deep within your heart. You cannot call out for help. No one knows. No one cares. Yet, you yourself can listen to the pain of your crying heart. Among people, you wear a mask of happiness. You force yourself to forget the melancholy, and for awhile you succeed. But once you’re alone, the shadows creep in to smother your breath. Of all things, I learnt not to deny pain. It is part and parcel of life. Being in denial of pain will consume every ounce of...
Of The Military, Martial Arts and Meditation
I’ve submitted my documentation pertaining to the military conscription. Close to Christmas, I have a medical appointment to ascertain my fitness and health in order to serve the army. The thought of inserting a needle into my vein to draw blood is making me squeamish. For the next three months, I’ll acclimating myself to a new workout routine, incorporating martial arts and Parkour. I also want to get back to meditating. But for that to happen, I’ve got to take care of my body properly. I’m getting regular fatigue combined with migraines and this won’t be conducive to meditation practice. I ended up in a half sleep state the last time I meditated while fatigued. Any cures for fatigue or/and migraine? My mother will probably say,...
Training In A Unique Style of Martial Arts
I want to develop my own style of fighting, which uses Aikido as a foundation. Training myself in strikes and kicks, I aim to understand the dynamics of such attacks and to develop my flexibility and balance. I’ve also practised Aikido waza regularly at both Taichi-speed and regular speed. I’m looking to learn the basics of Parkour and have been practising rolling. The roll, is essentially the same as the Aikido forward roll. My crazy determination and frustration has made me push myself to roll forward and backwards without break that I sometimes roll off the mat onto the concrete. Trust me, slamming your feet onto the concrete hurts. I hope to find like-minded individuals to train with, because it helps me stay committed to my goals. I...
Get Paid To Learn Baking Pastries
I dream of a day when I can enjoy a hot cup of green tea coupled with self-baked pastries or dim sum. Ever since the internship, I’ve wanted to learn to bake pastries/prepare dimsum. Audit work was boring so I indulged in ‘snacks’ like xiao long bao, shen jian bao or portugese egg tarts. Wouldn’t it be cheaper if I could make them myself? Today, the opportunity presented itself to me. The lady at the bakery nearby asked if I knew of anyone who would want to work part-time. The pay ranges from S$3 to S$4. Working hour begins at 6.30 am and I think it lasts for more than 8 hours. I have three options. Commit to the working hours and learn to bake pastries while being paid for it Find recipes online and try out baking on my own Go for a dim...
Confidence Is Believing In Yourself
I used to believe mental preparation and theoretical knowledge was key to gaining confidence. That, however, is inaccurate. One has to challenge himself in the world of reality, where unplanned and spontaneous behaviour runs the show. You will not know the outcome of your unplanned actions, but if you succeed, this experience becomes a great confidence booster. It allows you to believe in yourself and your abilities. Yesterday, my gathering with old friends made me realise I still subconsciously held on my perfectionist ideals. I observed myself not daring to try new things for fear of appearing stupid. For instance, at the funfair, it was until Danny handed me the ‘riffle’ in his insistance that I try to hit the target that I did so. I missed the...
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