Grumpy Again
I haven’t had the chance to focus on ‘here and now’. On occassional weekends, I anticipate how unpleasant work days are going to be, resulting in my grumpiness. I was pissed off to receive work-related calls and text messages after work yesterday. Is the work that bloody important to disturb me? Can it not wait till next Monday to tell me I’m needed to set up files on top of what I have to do? Fucked up… Seven weeks remain. I can’t wait for the internship to end.Sponsor ZUJI SG - MLOB Cannonball 300x250 Find Me The Best Priced Flight
Starting My Own Business
There are 2.5 months left before the internship ends. It’s tiring, very tiring. Try as I might, I find it difficult to run my web developments in conjunction with the unfufilling internship. I hold no passion for auditing and accounting. It is a waste of my time and productivity. My passion, instead, would be starting my own business, running it, and eventually relying on investments for my income. Some people who hear my aspiration believe that I am naive. They assume that I don’t know about the capital needed to start a business. They assume I know nothing about market research. They assume that in order to succeed in life, one has to work like a dog for a company… I say, live and let live. I shall allow you to live your life as a dog, while...
Tranquil Depression
Though without certainty, I can tell that I have had a minor relapse of depression for some time. I’ve been tempermental with my parents and sister, snapping at them and grumbling like an old man. My mind has been drifting unpredictably into apathy, anxiety, pain, sometimes calmness and clarity. Just now, I walked back home, mumbling and singing to myself. The frame of mind that possessed me was tranquil and yet, I could feel my mind shielding myself from my senses. I had no desire to see the world as it is. I’m going back to my old world. The world I created. At least, unlike the last time, I’m sitting on my chair calmly typing out my thoughts as it is. Neither paranoia nor worry is within my head. If it comes, I shall allow it to come and...
I Am 19
It was refreshing to meet a close friend, whom I’ve not seen for a year, still sharing similar viewpoints on life. To be able to connect so well after the time gap is amazing. And I realise, the mark of wisdom is when someone allows their mind to consider the limitless possibilities, rather than rigidly generalise situations based on ‘common knowledge’. Anyway, I was on MC today (Friday). The doctor told me that the cause of my daily migraines and disturbed sleep was stress-induced. My blood presure was slightly high and she gave me anxiety pills to improve the quality of my sleep. I’m tired of the attachment. It is mind-numbing, boring and crazy. And when I think about this, it leads me to wonder… Will I survive the mandatory 2 years...
I’m Not Born Out Of A Factory Assembly Line
These days I notice myself blogging more about my desire for tranquility and happiness. I feel uncomfortable when forced to talk to family, friends and relatives about my plans for the future. Everyone wants to hear that I want a regular job, a girlfriend, a university degree, a wife and to work myself soullessly to my demise. For fuck’s sake, I’m not made out of a factory assembly line! I don’t want a 9 to 5 job. I don’t want to work for money. I don’t need a wife. And I certainly don’t need people to tell me what I want and don’t want in my life… I’m tired of donning a mask just to please people. Yet again, this mask I wear is for my convenience. I have no desire of having a long drawn conversation, in...
Mental Breakdown
I suffered from a mental and emotional breakdown yesterday after work. My entire face was burning hot, whilst I stormed towards the train station. Inside the MRT cabin, my entire body shook with rage. I contacted my liason officer, who knew I was under a lot of pressure. Without planning it, I could barely talk to her when she answered. I broke down crying. I’m rather thankful for advice. Having decided to take the day off, I’m rearranging my perspective and strengthening my state of mind. Nearly 2 months have passed, 4 months left. Logen edited on 7 May 2009
Powered by FireStats
Recent Comments