The internship ends tomorrow. I’ve said I’ll never say this, but the experience was bittersweet.

From my many mistakes, bloomed valuable insights. I’ve drawn inspiration from my colleagues, fellow interns and clients. I’ve toughened up mentally and my thought process has evolved.

I realised that the essense of calm is not the absense of chaos. It is when we harmonise within chaos that calm can arise. After all, you can trick youself into believing that you’re a calm person when life is smooth sailing. However, once life starts throwing shit at you, can you face and harmonise with the shit? I’m still learning how to do that… One step at a time.

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I’ve made plans to shorten my life list, by achieving my goals. Surprisingly, I’ve refined my methodology in planning that it becomes easy to take action on my goals. So let this coming vacation be productive and calm.

Logen L.

This afternoon I discovered for myself the difficulty of being an effective leader. It is difficult to satisfy the diverse expectations of my teammates. And frightening to be assertive with two parties having a conflict, because the wrong action can escalate the situation out of hand.

By nature, I avoid conflict. Perhaps even compromising to my disadvantage. However, I confess that my rage can propel me into acting like a violent mental patient.

All these years I’ve been conditioned to be passive-aggressive and sometimes aggressive. I’m still learning to be assertive without hurling sacarstic remarks and hoping to improve my conflict resolution skills. Time will tell if my efforts will bear fruit.

Logen L.

This month, I’m working to be calmer on the inside. My nerves have thusfar been overactive and I intend to relax them.

As much as I’d want to grumble about my fucked up day, I cannot do so. I become agitated whenever I grumble. It makes me hyperventilate and causes my adrenaline to surge.

Therefore, there is no point in recounting my tale when it causes me mental distress. Instead, I shall forget it ever happened and imagine what a great day tomorrow will be.

Logen L.

As I’ve mentioned, seven weeks remain before the internship ends. I might as well take this unpleasant experience as an opportunity to develop certain skills; take the craziness as a training ground for the skills in my life list.

Ironically, I’ve dropped certain skills and upkeep when transforming to survival mode for the attachment. I’ve neglected my looks because the upkeep would cost me time to sleep. I’ve become less confident in certain aspects. I’ve become noticably grumpier towards my classmates, occasionally reverting to my normal crazy self.

But the attachment isn’t a completely lost endeavour. I’ve become direct and assertive in certain ways. I’ve practiced the key to charming people. I complete my work efficiently and very quickly because I can’t bear to drag the loathesome work over days. I’ve learnt to dissappear like a ninja once my office hour ends.

I intend to revert back to immortality when 4 weeks remain. I’ll begin my upkeep this week. And prepare for Aikido grading.

You will read more of my lifelist entries soon.

To my fellow interns, especially Office Senior and Outside Senior, you’ve been an inspiration for me to keep going amid the crazy times. Here’s your Welfare Senior signing off.

Logen L.

Opportunity arise out of difficult situations. And opportunity comes this Wednesday.

As part of the Business Communications module, my class will be doing table topics this coming week. I’ve been focused on my goal to be confident, and one of the criteria to gauge how close I am to being confident is the ability to speak in public.

While this has an impromptu twist to it, I’m determined to speak well. I have to prove to myself that I can face up to the pressure of speaking confidently in front of an audience.

Logen L.