Pain and Comfort

I was chatting with a friend earlier and we came upon certain things. These things reminded me of the past and helped form valuable insights. In talking about choices that affect the future, this friend had indicated he was afraid of history repeating. I remembered my own fear of my past and the fear of another friend. It was then I realised everyone has this universal fear of their past hurts and desire to escape it. This hurt is very much like a burn caused by fire, resulting in the victims avoidance of fire. However it is much deeper and potent at consuming the mind. Deeper, because it is the cruel kind of pain entwined with the victim’s helplessness, which leads him to believe himself to be inferior. It is the kind of pain that robs a person of his hope,...

Between Depression and Recovery

This is really a first for me. My mind fluctuates between depression and recovery. It was the same a few days ago. All I know is I’m acting like a mentally ill person. I had a good breakdown a few hours ago, berating myself while sobbing. As predicted, I’m getting waves of paranoia and moments of terror. It’s coming soon. I feel it. I can avert part of it but the rest might just kill me. On my side stands only one person, me. While the faceless enemy is a thousand times the stars in the sky. Maybe I’m not having the right perspective now. I don’t know. My will is strong but the mind is greatly diminished, exhausted. I hope this will cease before desperation kicks in. Desperate people do desperate things. Logen