The internship has robbed me of some time and sanity.

It is apparent that I want to have a calm state of mind. A mind so tranquil that it doesn’t go crazy when 9 small issues and 1 huge problem crops up at the same time.

In the last week, I took the first step and asserted to my colleagues the importance of Aikido to me. I’ve been going to classes regularly since then and have recently been awarded Blue belt. Somehow, Aikido allows me to focus on the opponent with a relaxed attitude and execute the techniques.

Today, I resumed my jogging routine. This step was crucial to ensure I was back on track towards my goal and things were becoming stable.

Aside from those two things which form my normal routine, I aim to meditate on emptiness more often. To detach from the ego and truly see the emptiness of form. Tomorrow, I shall try out Tai Chi at home. Once I’m more familiar with it, I might join the oldies downstairs to do Tai Chi every Sunday morning.

What do I want from life? What do I seek?

I want to be contented and relaxed. I want a certain someone. I want to be financially stable through starting or buying over a business or even investing in property. I want to be mentally ready to die when my time comes, whether it is tomorrow, next year, next decade or whatever. Life is unpredictable and fear is a hindrance.

Logen L.