I Don’t Know

Not much has changed, but I feel obliged to write, since it’s my birthday and I haven’t written an update in a long time.

These days, the most common words that resound in my head is “I don’t know”. And these words have a multitude of meaning. One, I don’t know what to think. Two, I don’t want to think. Three, I don’t know the wherefores of my existence because I probably won’t get to where I want to be. Four, I don’t know what you are playing at, but you don’t know how happy and miserable I feel when we talk. Five, I just don’t know…

Even with constant greetings of ‘Happy Birthday’ on social media, the one thing that is lacking is the part about being happy. One can immerse himself in a world of illusion for awhile, but the emptiness eventually catches up. What’s worse is when the melancholy hits you, and you have forgotten the wherefores of sadness because you have lied to yourself for too long.