[Joel, here’s the song played on a piano]
I live in a house of silence. I walk around perpetually with a grumpy attitude so that you are used to it and you wouldn’t know when I’m melancholic. I wish to share my problems with you, but I cannot.
I wished you had supported me through those years of hell for me, instead of affirming my inferiority. Ever since, I no longer know how to trust people with things that truly matter to me. I create fantasies as morphin to the emptiness inside. Do you really know what matters to me as an individual? Or am I just a burden to you?
I hate to see other families laughing over dinner. Why can’t we have a conversation that doesn’t end up in a lecture about life. Why can’t we try something new as family, instead of insisting on the old ways, giving the pretext that money is an issue.
I’ve tried too hard in the past. I’ve already given up. Because I know, you will never listen to my words; even if I were uttering them while standing on the ledge of a building ready to jump to my quietus.
You know… financial issues was never the issue. I just wanted to know and hear that you loved me and cared about my existence. I just wanted to bond.
When we grow up, we should stop believing in pipe dreams… I no longer believe…
Logen L.
🙁 cheer up bud. i just fought with my dad yesterday too and now I’m coming home to another argument. How can he forbid me from joining a mini aquathlon just because he nearly drowned. like wadda feck luh. Sometimes I wish he could just respect my feelings and not forbid ALL my interests you kno. its not like i take drugs or do tattoo.
all i gotta say is that we will never fathom the thoughts parents. i envy my friends who have peaceful parents who are always behind them in whatever they do. like these people have all the freedom in the world u kno. and it makes me wonder sometimes what is really planned for me you kno that kind of thing.
maybe they do really care and support us but sometimes they were never good with their actions and we perceive it as it is and refuse to look ultra to the reasons why.
Let’s not push ourselves down further aye. Let’s make do with what we have right now; friends and hobbies. These two matters more than anything else when we feel LIKE SAI.
It’s easier said than done but no harm trying yes :)Life’s not all hunky dory Ill say.
Be yourself and make yourself happy thats all that matters.
Just want you to know that you’re not alone because I know what you are going through.
Get through your CTs safe and sound ya!
GO GO GO LOGEN!
Thanks Killa and Eugene. I was just feeling emotionally drained on that day, and so happen certain things happened to trigger extremely intense memories.
Of late I’ve been hit hard by work, family and all sorts of rubbish too. Just focus and things will get better.
I need momentum and discipline to focus. I’m finding it hard since school is screwing up my motivation.