On my journey to death, I try to conform to conformity. Though I know not how, I tried my hardest. Still I failed. My hope is waning. What can I do for society’s acceptance. Perhaps soon I’ll reach my destination. Then conformity will no longer be an issue.

It just hurts to be effeminate. It’s just like never finding a part of yourself. Your identity as male person. As much as I hate to talk about this issue, lets be honest, people know and people tease. I remember being called unpleasant things by people I didn’t even know, during my secondary school days.

I attempted to change countless of time, but failed. I hate to keep searching for this part of my identity because it never manifest itself. The tauntings just worsens it. It makes me feel inferior and incompetent.

I sense a similar pattern here in poly. I’m not paranoid. Maybe I should just dress up like a freak. At least they would laugh at my dressing than at me.

In all honesty, I love being eccentric but not in the effeminate way. Never mind. I just feel this empty part of me growing. Life’s a bitch. But people are bitchier…

Logen

P.S. I am not against effeminate people. It’s just difficult if you know what I mean.