I used to be able to organise my thoughts quickly. But the lack of practise has reduced me to chaos and confusion.
Right now, I merely seek to find myself and the multitudes of unwritten insights I once had. The feeling of apathy is undescribably mundane. It is especially alarming when sweet memories of the past no longer pull your heartstrings. What more when you can’t be sure if the memories you hold dear stay intact.
At times I gaze outside to admire the dark expanse of night, taking in the silent winds, only to realise that in the battle of life, I have lost many people. Perhaps I made some mistakes, but I shan’t be so arrogant to claim all responsibility for the blunders.
I apologise that through these mere few paragraphs, I have lost you in my words. What I am trying to say is, I feel as if I’ve been drifting without direction. I have lost focus of my prorities and even though I desperately search the past for direction, I cannot remember how I was and how I did things. As much as the snippets of memories reveal, I’ve made mistakes but it takes two hands to clap.
To put it succinctly, I want to be back on form and am trying to.