On the night before Christmas, I met up with Harris to talk. Eventually during the wee hours of the morning, I asked him for an honest impression of the image I portray. I wanted to know if there was something I did not already know about myself.

Of the image, I told him to break it into the categories of appearance, verbal image and behaviour (body language-wise).

This was what I learnt that was new.

When with a group of friends who are conversing, I appear generally confident, though quiet. I portray an indifferent, cavalier (can’t-be-bothered) attitude. He rightly surmised that I wasn’t keen in joining the conversation because my interests varied from the group.

However, when I walk, he says that I drag my feet and attempt to hide my ass by adjusting my body posture. It reveals my lack of confidence. What’s new here is the info about me dragging my feet while walking.

In terms of my speaking voice, I talk so softly that I tend to lean in closer to the person to make myself heard.

Finally, when speaking of my appearance, he generalised that my dress-sense is sometimes sloppy.

The feedback was invaluable as it gave me insights about how I appear to others. And it does give indications on my subconscious concerns.

Other than the feedback, I realised confidence comprises the ability to stand up for your rights. After all, confidence is doing what you want, when you want to, uninhibited by judgment. This freedom of action must come hand-in-hand with being assertive.

Oh well. Merry Christmas. The last 2 minutes before its over in Singapore.

Logen L.