Fruitful But Painful Internship

The internship ends tomorrow. I’ve said I’ll never say this, but the experience was bittersweet.

From my many mistakes, bloomed valuable insights. I’ve drawn inspiration from my colleagues, fellow interns and clients. I’ve toughened up mentally and my thought process has evolved.

I realised that the essense of calm is not the absense of chaos. It is when we harmonise within chaos that calm can arise. After all, you can trick youself into believing that you’re a calm person when life is smooth sailing. However, once life starts throwing shit at you, can you face and harmonise with the shit? I’m still learning how to do that… One step at a time.

I’ve made plans to shorten my life list, by achieving my goals. Surprisingly, I’ve refined my methodology in planning that it becomes easy to take action on my goals. So let this coming vacation be productive and calm.

Logen L.


The Difficulty In Leadership

This afternoon I discovered for myself the difficulty of being an effective leader. It is difficult to satisfy the diverse expectations of my teammates. And frightening to be assertive with two parties having a conflict, because the wrong action can escalate the situation out of hand.

By nature, I avoid conflict. Perhaps even compromising to my disadvantage. However, I confess that my rage can propel me into acting like a violent mental patient.

All these years I’ve been conditioned to be passive-aggressive and sometimes aggressive. I’m still learning to be assertive without hurling sacarstic remarks and hoping to improve my conflict resolution skills. Time will tell if my efforts will bear fruit.

Logen L.


What More Can I Say

This month, I’m working to be calmer on the inside. My nerves have thusfar been overactive and I intend to relax them.

As much as I’d want to grumble about my fucked up day, I cannot do so. I become agitated whenever I grumble. It makes me hyperventilate and causes my adrenaline to surge.

Therefore, there is no point in recounting my tale when it causes me mental distress. Instead, I shall forget it ever happened and imagine what a great day tomorrow will be.

Logen L.


Taking Adversity As Opportunity

As I’ve mentioned, seven weeks remain before the internship ends. I might as well take this unpleasant experience as an opportunity to develop certain skills; take the craziness as a training ground for the skills in my life list.

Ironically, I’ve dropped certain skills and upkeep when transforming to survival mode for the attachment. I’ve neglected my looks because the upkeep would cost me time to sleep. I’ve become less confident in certain aspects. I’ve become noticably grumpier towards my classmates, occasionally reverting to my normal crazy self.

But the attachment isn’t a completely lost endeavour. I’ve become direct and assertive in certain ways. I’ve practiced the key to charming people. I complete my work efficiently and very quickly because I can’t bear to drag the loathesome work over days. I’ve learnt to dissappear like a ninja once my office hour ends.

I intend to revert back to immortality when 4 weeks remain. I’ll begin my upkeep this week. And prepare for Aikido grading.

You will read more of my lifelist entries soon.

To my fellow interns, especially Office Senior and Outside Senior, you’ve been an inspiration for me to keep going amid the crazy times. Here’s your Welfare Senior signing off.

Logen L.


Battling Procrastination, Deciding and Defending My Rights

The importance of focusing my efforts on a few goals at one go becomes increasingly illuminating.  Contrary to achieving more by pushing for many goals at once, I’ve achieved little outcome.

Upon prioritising my life list, these are the goals that stand out.

  1. Don’t procrastinate
  2. Be assertive and decisive

Don’t Procrastinate

Time is of essence if one wants to achieve his wants. Therefore, as a foundation to work on my wants, I have to minimise my tendencies to procrastinate.

I began by sleeping and waking at regular hours, as this allows me to predict the amount of time I have in one day. In addition, I had slot in time to exercise thrice a week and to train for Aikido. With a rough knowledge of time, it is difficult to disillusion myself into believing that my time is infinite.

Of course, in the following weeks I would have to push myself to complete whatever is necessary (tutorials, projects, personal endeavours) within deadlines.

Be Assertive and Decisive

Despite working on this goal earlier, my efforts in being decisive and assertive have been wavering.

However, if I truly want to master time, I have to be decisive in my actions and assertive on what belongs to me. I find that these two questions aid me in being more assertive and decisive…

  • What do I want to achieve?
  • How do I know that I’ve gotten what I want?

The key to being decisive and assertive is to know what you want and how to get it. By habitually asking myself these questions, my mind would eventually subconsciously think of my objectives to stand up for and how I will defend them.

I will have to practice being decisive and assertive directly when situations arise.

Logen L.


Impromptu Speaking and Self Entertainment

Table Topics and Confidence

I did great for table topics! The teacher remarked that my speech clearly deserved an ‘A’.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”.

This was my quote to talk about. I must admit I have came across this quote years ago and therefore, was slightly relaxed about talking about it.

Next week shall be the second session of table topics. And I’m determined to choose the lots of a riskier topic category. I am determined to prove to myself that I am able to talk about unfamiliar topics, with little preparation time.

In the mean time, it means practicing in front of my friends.

How to entertain yourself during lectures…

Allow me to tell you part of the story of the Hidden Village of The Dragon. Below are some illustrations drawn during my FIT (Finance of International Trade) Lecture.

Hidden Village Of The Dragon

The Hidden Village of The Dragon (aka Ryugakure) is a ninja village. I’m the third ninja protector (Sandaime Ryukage) of the village, who acts as the head of the village.

The Scene of the village

This is the scene of the village. Isn’t the sunrise amazing? On the right are three of the four legendary ninja (Yonin); Logen, Xing Dan and Hong Yi.

Logen begins with the story

Scene: Ryukage Mansion

*The Logen of present age (81) tells the story of the betrayal of ‘X’*

Logen says: 60 years ago, the ninja hidden village of the dragon was founded by 4 Legendary Ninja. These 4 ninja, were by the name of Logen, Xing Dan, Hong Yi and ‘X’.


*Xing Dan at present age (82) continues*

Xing Dan says: One day, one of the Legendary 4 betrayed the other 3. He framed one of them of commiting grievious crimes.

Confrontation scene

Scene: The Battle of The Yonin, 58 years ago

*Logen of the Dragon Clan is armed with his weapon, a giant black tessen (fighting fan), which is capable of creating torrential winds.*

*’X’ of the Shadow Clan is gathering his chakra behind him and moulding it into dark shadows.*

In his bid to gain power, ‘X’ murdered the sensei who taught the Legendary 4, Chong Sensei. He then framed Logen for this and other crimes…

battle begins

‘X’: Kage Mane No Jutsu (Shadow bind technique)… *does hand seals for another technique thereafter*

*Logen loses control of his arm and leg movements. He begins to sink into the shadows manipulated by ‘X’. The technique is apparently a sealing technique.*

Logen: *calmly speaks with deep sorrow in his voice* Ever since boyhood, we’ve been great friends. And now you’ve betrayed the village… betrayed me… I regret it… But I have to kill you!


‘X’: Haha! I’ve already caught you within my technique (Shadow Bind Seal)!

Logen: Light of the Dragon Jutsu! *white chakra light resonates from Logen’s right hand. The white chakra travels to Logen’s feet and the shadow technique is broken.* You sure about that? I’ve already broken off your sealing technique…

‘X’: What!? That can’t be. No one has ever escaped my jutsu.

(extended version)

Logen: I’m not no one. Don’t forget I’m one of the four… And as a founder of Ryugakure, I cannot allow you to harm my villagers, the people whom which we took an oath to protect… the people whom which we love as family…

‘X’: Haha. Our people are a burden… Love is a burden… I live only to accomplish my aims. They are but pawns for me to use.

Logen: …

*Xing Dan and Hong Yi enters the scene*

To Be Continued… or not.

Logen L.


Impromptu Speaking Confidently

Opportunity arise out of difficult situations. And opportunity comes this Wednesday.

As part of the Business Communications module, my class will be doing table topics this coming week. I’ve been focused on my goal to be confident, and one of the criteria to gauge how close I am to being confident is the ability to speak in public.

While this has an impromptu twist to it, I’m determined to speak well. I have to prove to myself that I can face up to the pressure of speaking confidently in front of an audience.

Logen L.