Sinking Into The Abyss

I’m cracking. It hurts. The fear and paranoia is returning, slowly.

I cannot withstand battling against multiple triggers at one time. And this time, there were more than a multiple.

My mind is in a whirl, so much so that I no longer know why I’m sad. The more I ask myself why, the faster my thoughts race. I can no longer catch up with their pace.

Teach me how not to feel pain when people attack the core of your existence. Tell me why am I unwanted. Why can’t I have the taste of normalcy.

Am I born into the wrong world? A conventional person can relate to the ideas of common people. While me… I don’t know.

I don’t want to sink back into the dark abyss of guilt and sorrow. I was stuck in there for over 2 years last time. It was as if I was looking at reality from behind a veil that was trying to suffocate me.

The emptiness is heavy. Someone in the abyss is grabbing my ankle and pulling me under.

It’s coming back. It hurts, and I now find it hard to breathe. I don’t want to sink into the days when I was numb…

Logen L.


Tears Are Not For Boys

I’ve lost a part of myself.

Reality has eaten away at my soul.

My lips, sewn together; I cannot speak.

Bonds of friendship I need break.

Kinships torn asunder.

All alone at my ‘happy’ place, talking with the person inside the mirror.

He’s always been there for me… always…

I exist for myself…

Logen L.