I’m cracking. It hurts. The fear and paranoia is returning, slowly.
I cannot withstand battling against multiple triggers at one time. And this time, there were more than a multiple.
My mind is in a whirl, so much so that I no longer know why I’m sad. The more I ask myself why, the faster my thoughts race. I can no longer catch up with their pace.
Teach me how not to feel pain when people attack the core of your existence. Tell me why am I unwanted. Why can’t I have the taste of normalcy.
Am I born into the wrong world? A conventional person can relate to the ideas of common people. While me… I don’t know.
I don’t want to sink back into the dark abyss of guilt and sorrow. I was stuck in there for over 2 years last time. It was as if I was looking at reality from behind a veil that was trying to suffocate me.
The emptiness is heavy. Someone in the abyss is grabbing my ankle and pulling me under.
It’s coming back. It hurts, and I now find it hard to breathe. I don’t want to sink into the days when I was numb…