Alone on New Year’s Eve from 2012 to 2013

It’s New Year’s Eve, and here I am wired and morose from having little rest from a busy schedule. I have observed, throughout the years, that my resolution to be happy becomes increasingly elusive. And each year, I manage to isolate myself and make myself a tad more lonelier.

I am a very flawed person; an ineffective mix of stubborn ambition, unrealistic sense of time and undisciplined focus. As a result, I always seem to lack time. I have unwittingly pushed away old friends due to this perpetual loss of time. And when I finally find time a long time later, I feel too guilty to contact them. Why should they wish to meet me, when I have rejected their meetups so often.

Of the army friends I see more often, I have recently confirmed my assessment and therefore have come to terms to the prospect of letting go of a few friendships. People come, and people go. And the law of this world is the temporal nature of everything. One or two will choose to leave, others will become distant by neglecting efforts to connect, and the last few will stick with you until they leave as a result of their quietus.

That said, here are my resolutions:

  1. Be disciplined in my focus and purpose
  2. Persevere but know when to let go (or try another method)
  3. Find more time for family and friends
  4. Remember to breathe and smile
  5. Earn sufficient returns from my web investments to pay for my monthly student loan repayment
  6. Devote time to run and exercise (Need to keep in shape, regulate my moods and avoid RT. Perhaps between now and the future, I might actually become happy and want to mitigate the years that cigarettes have cut from my life.)
The unresolvable resolution…
“A person doesn’t know true hurt and suffering until they’ve felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere.” ? Rose Gordon, Her Imperfect Groom
Happy new year in advance. I’m going to take a nap before continuing my assignment.



Body Language And My Businesses

These days, I’ve been studying body language; how to read people through their behaviour and how to alter my own body language to enhance my communication prowess. I have trouble recalling the individual non-verbal indicators and therefore shall try to summarise similarities in these indicators into a mindmap or chart. Thereafter, I have to practice base-lining the body language of individuals, while analysing if their speech is congruent with their behaviour.

This goal of mine is far from being accomplished. And I have decided to make a project out of it on my other site at iKinesics.

Besides body language, I have been working on two new businesses. One of them is an addition of a new domaining business model to my current domain names business. The other is a partnership with my military camp-mate on promoting fitness and skin products. Hopefully, these two avenues will eventually enable me to supplement the measly military allowance.

In light of progressing in the goals above, I have neglected studying Thai. Time is, honestly, out of my hands; a sad fact of being enlisted in the army as a stay-in personnel for 5 days a week.

To worsen matters, my eczema condition has gotten slightly bad. Even though I have doubled the dosage of antihistamines, I end up scratching my arms and neck when asleep due to the intense itching. I am frightened at what field camp would do to my condition. Raw bleeding skin and mud do not mix well. We’ll see on Monday…