The song, ‘Somewhere’ by Within Temptaion, has sentimental value to me, in that, it has carried me over through the time I went through depression.
As many of you know, I create many fantasies with my imagination. For example, the Dragon Village.
The inititial appeal to fantasise was a means to deal with the pain and melancholy I was going through. I used to pretend that I was from another dimension, where elf-like beings existed. And I was abandoned in this world as a child, unwanted and unloved.
While listening to this song in my darkened living room, the shadows in the dark seemed to move and I’d see a silouhette of a woman in the kitchen. The darkness can play tricks on your eyes. This made the hairs at the back of my neck stand, but I walked into the kitchen; the melancholy was far more painful than my fear.
I remember there was once, at the peak of my melancholy, I walked into the kitchen and slumped down onto the floor crying and the shadow of that woman crouched next to me and seemed to be comforting me. It was as if she was telling me that she was my mother from the dimension I was from, but due to circumstances she died. And I was here in the present dimension, because of the tradgedy that happened in the other dimension.
At that time of depression, I felt as if I didn’t belong to this world. I felt different and craved for normalcy. At the very least, I wanted acceptance and love for being the person I am. I hated myself for being weird/eccentric.
Now, I still feel I don’t belong here. But I no longer want normalcy. I love myself for my eccentricities. I love the way I think, even if it is morbid and crazy. Because I have method to my madness.
And I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.