Category Archives: Insights-past

01/17/08

Be Your Own God of Destiny

Every now and then, we contemplate the purpose of life. This endeavour is a paradox of stupidity and wisdom; stupid for three reasons: the answer we seek is resolutely unanswerable, the endeavour only creates more questions, and we look in the wrong places for answers. 

Though overpowered by these three reasons, the wisdom gained is far too compelling to forgo. The endeavour hits the core on what each of us lives for in this life.

In a crass sense, life has no purpose because our eventual destinations are the same -Death. While true, this truth is woefully incomplete. Life does not only encompass destination, it has a begining and is in itself a journey. While one cannot control one’s birth, the power to decide still exists in this stroll towards death, the journey.

We must now face that the purpose of life lie in the eyes of the beholder. It is through one’s choices that one creates his purpose. Nobody, including god and luck, has a say in this. Thus, the only god one should have in controlling his life, is himself. 

Logen

01/14/08

The Imbalance of Tears and Fears

The week leading up to my relapse was pure agony. I seem to have forgotten how I crawled out of the abyss two years ago. But with the relapse, I’m remembering some details on the arduous journey.

During this period, I was in a contemplative mood on my good days and on other days, I had spasm of fears and tears. The following reflects my thoughts in the course of recovery.

Like the thunder storms that occur as nature’s way of correcting imbalances, life is the same. Our saddest moments indicate issues unresolved lurking within our minds, awaiting corrective action.
When facing these problems, it’s good to take a proactive and contemplative approach. Through objective contemplation, we learn the causes of our distress. And with the cause known, we choose to change what we cannot accept and accept what cannot be changed.

Understanding pain, just makes it easier to let go. While paranoia happens when we don’t have all the cards on the table.

I’m determined, at this time, to let my brain lead my heart away from adversity. I shall rise from the ashes like before.

Note: In those trying moments, Harry Potter and Dumbledore were by my side (the books). This explains my sentimental feelings towards the books. Not forgetting that Dumbledore reminds me a lot of my grandfather.

Logen

01/10/08

The Truth Is Relative and Incomplete

We sometimes forget that the laws of this world are neither black nor white. Shades of gray is still errorneous, though it leans closer towards the truth.

Where judgment is concerned, the hues of colour matter, as colours represent human emotions. And emotions are byproducts of how people intepret their incomplete truth, of which is dangerously limited by sight and hearing. As said before, the truth and reality is relative.

While the wise aren’t enslaved by absolute judgments of black and white, I, the fool, chose to react to stabbing words. I can’t blame myself really. What would you do if someone sliced open your inner scars and ran that blade up and down, carving it deeper into your flesh. I skipped logic and went straight into panic mode. It is a self-preservation thing.

I have to admit that panic-mode is the worst state of mind to be in. Your heart races, your body prepares itself for another hurtful episode and simple problems are exagerated by your mind. The deadly combination wrenches all the hope within you and eventually triggers a mental shutdown (you get a breakdown if you’re unlucky).

That said, I’ll have to be the bigger man. I have to open my eyes to the colours of the world. I resolve not to neglect reason because the truth is sometimes beyond what can be seen and heard. I do maintain that I belong elsewhere though.

Logen