Category Archives: Life

12/18/07

The Irony of Christmas

I walked the walkway towards Junction 8 yesterday, leading from the train station. Amidst the cold rainy weather, was an old handicapped man playing familiar Christmas tunes from his flute. At his foot was a bowl, where passerby’s would throw their shillings at.

The scene was an irony. One would have expected a jolly old man, from which, the music exuded. But in place of what we expected, was an old man who lost the use of his legs; and though he forced a smile, his sad eyes shone through the cold rainy weather.

In this season of giving, some of us more clearly see the woes of the less fortunate. Others on the other hand, are contented with avoiding the sadder side of reality. In this season of togetherness, the lonely souls who roam without their loved ones, will no doubt remember their losses with clarity. Let us not forget them.

Merry Christmas to all. Remember to help Santa in spreading the joy. More importantly comfort those who need it.

Logen

12/12/07

Thinking About The Break

Three down, one to go. Since the exam period, the blog has become boring.

Having said that, I checked my bank account recently. Finally! The second half of my bursary money has been dispatched.

I’ll be getting my hair done, again. Though I want something maintainable, I haven’t given up on getting an eccentric/elfish hairdo.

Aside my looks (which I have sorely neglected for 2 months) I intend to meet up with old friends. Sighs, the nostalgia…

Well, the hiatus is still on. Keep your hats on, and wands aloft. Season Greetings!

Logen

12/4/07

Common Test Revision Update

As of yesterday, I’ve completed revision on Business Statistics. I do need some practice though.

I have a few crucial topics yet to be completed for Microeconomics. And I haven’t even touched on FFA nor CIP.

Had I not received certain sabotages on my revision time, more of those above could have been completed. I will kill anymore idiots wasting my time. As they say in Harry Potter: Time is galleons.

Logen

11/30/07

Losing My Writing Ability?

I’ve written certain great essays in the past, praised by the teacher. In my stories, I could be what I wanted to be; I could be god for all I care. My thoughts would be mirrored in what I penned. But now, I have this irrational fear that I won’t succeed in writing a convincing male character. The effeminacy thing has taken a huge toll on me, really.

Sometimes I get this feeling that I’m just living someone else’s life. And there was some cosmic mistake. It doesn’t matter already because I don’t know what else I can say about this.

Now really, I sound as if I’m miserable but, it’s just tiredness. For now, I’ve given up talking about my pathetic unrequited love for someone. Lord Logenmort does not need love… Shame on me. I’m turning to the dark side. But they do have cookies after all.

Lecture Leg Rest

My studies are sort of on track, though I choose to skip most lectures. It’s either skip or waste time. Forgive me for my lack of modesty but I have the smarts to excel with my own effort. I just need to cut down on procrastination.

Logen

P.S. Please participate in my poll on the sidebar. I need your opinion.

11/26/07

I bought a Bonsai Tree at a Bookstore

My dad had gotten book vouchers for Borders bookstore earlier this month. We finally made the trip there for some book shopping.

My initial plan was to buy a journal, which I was to use as a planner. However, after looking around, I decided against it. The journals were way too pricey and I could have gotten cheaper ones elsewhere. As a result, I was sauntering down the book aisles aimlessly.

Investing for Dummies The Mini Bonsai Kit

Towards the end of the ‘shopping’ experience, I was stuck between getting Investing for Dummies and a mini Bonsai kit. My motivations behind the book are clear. I have an interest in investments. What about the Bonsai? What benefit could it possibly bring? One word, peace.

I was feeling inner turmoil and wanted to calm my mind. Though I’m aware that peace can only be found within oneself, I wanted a physical reminder. I want to look at the bonsai during crazy episodes, and be reminded to seek the calm within. It’s just too easy to be sucked into a whirlpool of paranoia when one is stressed.

I explained the wherefores of having a bonsai. So, what was to be chosen? My dad saved me from making a choice. I got both the book and the kit. I could have said no and insisted on choosing one over the other. I might then regret not choosing the other item. Whereas now, I have a tiny bit of guilt for going over the voucher’s budget.

That said, the bonsai growing process is a killer. I should have gotten a cactus at the supermarket instead. Then again, I managed to kill my previous cactus the last time. Better not let my bonsai hear that…

Logen

Unrelated: I accept it and resent it all the same.

11/22/07

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

After such a long time, I talked to the person in my mirror again. I like to refer to him as my twin brother. He’s always there in times of need.

I expected myself to breakdown at the end. He reminds me of a certain past that I dislike. But this time, it seems he has succeeded in centering my emotions. We did it. You must think I’m a mentally unstable narcissist for referring to my mirror reflection as an individual. I don’t mind really.

As for the cause of my melancholia, I have only to ask this. Why should I heed the words of ignorant pigs? I may crave for normalcy, but I’ve embraced my eccentricities. People always think fitting in a premade mould is the way to go. Well, no use arguing with pigs, they’ll only assuage their conscience with empty words.

The past is past me now, or so I hope. Lord Logenmort is back.

Logen

11/14/07

Her Smile Causes My Guilt

I love you. But that very love makes me unworthy to another girl. I want to forget it; I can’t.

She smiled at me today and my hearbeat quickens. I have a teensy crush on her. Then suddenly, I remember your beautiful face, of which I needed to let go. It made me immensely guilty. What if she knew that I once wanted you for you(I still do)? She’d renounce me for me.

Better to not start a relationship, especially when the emotional investment is a sure flop. I need no more hurts…

Pain among pains. I have to speak and write in ambiguousness. Life has sealed my lips and tied my tongue. I fear of what the future entails.

With wasted love,
Logen

P.S. I have another blog (Logish Money Tree). It deals with investment and finance from a beginner’s perspective.